Hello again. Its been a while.
Yeah. I didn’t really bother that much the whole blog thing. I was planning to do another one like a day after the second blog, but then I just kind of….stopped and forgot about it. Even with this current “draft”, I seriously wonder if I will actually finish it, as my mind always loves changing it’s mind on things like this. As I write this, I can already feel my own mind trying to hold me back from actually writing this.
I look at my two previous blog posts and quite frankly I just feel disappointed. They’re shit, I tried to be relatable and it fell flat. They’re too artificial, not real. The truth is, It’s hard for me to express myself in text that well. The whole “Batshit insane thoughts” thing was too ambitious and relied on me being able to express myself well, which I can’t as I don’t think that shit is fundamentally in my code. I’m always cautious, always. It originated as I grew up in a time where you had those atrocious commentary channels in 2016, where people would judge you for being “different” or “weird” over being in popular Fandoms at the time like FNAF or Undertale, all because it was a bit eccentric at times. Judging by the fact I’m writing this (probably) erratic sounding blogpost, you can tell I’m not exactly the most normal.
Worst part is that I fell for those Commentary Channels and their communities bullshit, their ideas of what was “Cringe”. I forced myself to drop any ties to FNAF or Undertale at the time, which I kept for like a year or two afterwards. All because some jackass playing CS:GO and his stupid fanbase said so. I detest the fact I ever watched them and ever took their stupid words to heart, even if I was young at the time. What did they even find “cool” anyways? I bet it was the most boring, milquetoast bullshit imaginable.
Anyways, I want to be more honest if I decide to write down more blog posts, which to be honest given me I doubt it’ll be frequent if at all. Truth is, my interests change like the weather. I don’t know what it is, or why, but they come and go so quickly. It’ll be one thing the previous week and a different thing the next. I hate it. I wish I could keep hold onto them for longer, as when I lose that interest I feel so empty afterwards until I find a new one. I don’t know if losing interests this fast is a common thing for everyone, or if I’m just being overdramatic, but still. It’s not nice.
Anyways, as for thoughts. The other week I had a dream where John Egbert from Homestuck passed away. To be honest it'd probably be considered more of a NIGHTMARE scenario. I’m pretty sure Egbert being gone was a part of it from what I can recall. Don’t ask why, as quite frankly I don’t even know myself. That cannot even happen by the way, as he’s “God-Tier”. Quite frankly, I barely understand the lore. Fuck knows what that new “Pilot” is going to be like. If only I was around in my current state back when it was actually popular, I would’ve probably fully succumbed to the brain-rot, yet It would’ve been terrific. At least then I would understand the lore.
Quite frankly, I have no fucking idea. I only use it to like stuff about Deltarune or whatever is my interest that month, but the algorithm is dogshit. Almost everytime I use it, it’s just unrelated crap that has no purpose. It’s either some shit from that idiot with the Danny Phantom profile picture, random gibberish no one cares about, or political garbage. It’s just all worthless, pointless garbage. I should just stop using it, but I bet if I did I’ll just re-establish my account a month later for some reason.